smells like hope, this time its not the dope.......:

im: post-shower n feeling like fresh linen
listening to: the tragically hip-the wheat kings

so im here to record another loveless day...theres some sort of indescribable pleasure in shirking work to get a beer..wch is wt i did wt a freind from school..a beer maybe an understatemnt but ive never liked details..we went for this movie..hindi 'homage' to somethng abt mary..akshay kumar surprisgnly had me laughing in genuine delight..and headed off to -i hate myself- coffeebeanz..very very bitter choclate shake later, met up wt fat boi..n headed to his place...funny hw everythng feels so wet after alchohol..funny how a joint sort of lifts u above the lows for one almighty eternity and drops u into a cesspool of nihilism..somwetmes u just cling on to a stray shrub on top of ur hill and dangle..fatal drop above despair..sometimes u let go in abject surrender..wch is how we discussed dreams tt would never be fulfilled and fantasies tt wld never play out in front of our eyes..watched 'requeim for a dream'...id nevr seen this movie before..i know some of u selfimportant fuckers r goin glike, whaa? uve NEVER seen it before?? but i give a shit..one of ther easons y i nevr watched it is coz evrybdy keeps talking abt it...as it turned out u were all right agen..the movie is briliant n moving..its one of the few movies tt made me really sad..not depressed or mushy but sad..like a longing deep down for some kind of happiness..a sign of better things to come..wch is ironic bcoz i doubt the movie was intended to make u hopeful...awesome work on the background score..mostly orchestra wt gut-wrenching violins..fatboi dropped me back at kowdiar n i took a bus home..hav to say im quite gettng used to bus rides..maybe evn looking forward to them at night..on an empty bus..just watchng the dark speed by as i sit a few feet above ground that is not beneath my feet..mums come over..actually happy to see her..shes been absolutely wonderful reading my almost-there novel n giving me opinions...parents are beautiful arent they..?